It's not always your opponent or competitor that inhibits your performance, especially when you have mastered the core skills of a role or sport. It's often the internal monologue you have before or during an important event that can decide whether you go on to perform at your best in a pressure situation. That's just as relevant in the boardroom as it is on the sports pitch.
If you find that you are allowing negative self-talk rather than positive speak to creep into your preparations or during key events, it's time to come up with a plan on how to address that situation. Here are a few thoughts and tactics to be kind to yourself.
Impacts of negative self talk
Henry Ford was credited with the saying "Whether you think you can or you think you can't your right". So powerful is the human mind that it can take over and influence human performance at any time with nerves or self doubt making people almost impossible for them to perform or compete. Even for those that appear to have amazing mastery of the skills they need to succeed.
The best player since Bradman
Graeme Hick a batsman who amassed over 136 centuries in his career, was a destroyer of county cricket bowlers from the mid 1980's until he retired in 2008. He had to wait eight years to qualify for England and was selected to play his first game against the mighty West Indies in 1991. He was already being compared with Donald Bradman the best batsman ever as he walked out to bat at Headingley in Leeds for his debut. That was a lot of pressure for a person before they have played a single game at the highest level. After 4 matches Hick was dropped by England after scoring 72 runs in 7 innings. In 1992 he scored 232 runs in 10 innings. He did eventually go on to play 65 test matches and scored over 3000 runs. But his 6 centuries in 65 Tests was a poor return for a man who dominated County Cricket for a generation.
So what went wrong? Hick reflected when he retired in 2008 that others had a 'hard edged (self) belief to succeed at the highest level' and he did not possess the 'cut-throat edge' required. I'd like to think that now Hick would have had more support from a sports psychologist to help him overcome the challenges he faced. Giving him more of a chance to succeed.
Merv Hughes offers Graeme Hick some batting advice in 1993.
Many others have had a similar fate to Hick in top level sport, the demons or self doubt start to erode confidence and prevent enormous potential from blooming at the highest level.
So what can be done?
Acknowledge - Distract - Reset - Replace
Acknowledging there is an issue
The first stage is recognising and acknowledging there is an issue. As with a lot of habits negative self talk can become the norm if unchallenged. If for example you have spent a lot of time comparing yourself to others, putting colleagues on a pedestal and not recognising your own strengths then this can start to erode your self confidence and belief.
I couldn't do what they do...
They are so great at ...
Admiring others skills is fine and professional, however if it gets to a point where you can't value your own skills you are at risk of undervaluing yourself and impacting your ability to perform.
When damaging thoughts are in your own head it can be difficult to acknowledge there is an issue, after all who knows but you? This is where self reflection and journaling or assisted (coach managed) reflection can help performers record and acknowledge the pattern of self talk they exhibit. This awareness means that they can be on the look out for those thoughts and get ready to respond when they spot the pattern. Many people can also get into a habit of focusing on negative outcomes or what they don't want to do. E.g.
I need to stay away from the water on the left of the green...
Don't drop any catches ...
Don't mess up the presentation...
Don't say anything stupid in the meeting...
When we start to think like this, it's time to distract ourselves and reset the mind.
How can I distract myself?
There are many ways to approach this. Sometimes if you can, just taking a break and grabbing a cuppa will help. Taking a short walk, maybe walking up a few flights of stairs. The important thing is removing yourself from the situation if you can so that you can reset your mind. Taking a drink when competing or asking for new gloves is a great one batsman use when playing cricket.
How to reset
Mental reset skills can be trained, drilled and rehearsed so that when you need them for sports or in the office you are ready to reset and focus. Taking a series of long, deep breaths [5 seconds in through the nose, hold for 5 seconds, 5 seconds out through the mouth] is an excellent way to stabilise your breath and thoughts. Some people use physical touch, such as an ear lobe pinch, the act of the touch being a trigger to begin a rehearsed process. This is popular in many sports for example in tennis before a serve. You may have seen some players tap the soles of their shoes, even when not on clay, as if to clear away the clay dust. This is just a repeatable ritual/drill that resets the mind before the next point is played.
Once the reset is achieved and you are relaxed again you are ready for the final step, the replacement of negative thoughts using reframing.
Replacing the negative talk
Replacing the negative self talk with positive messages sometimes called reframing is an excellent technique to help you focus on positive outcomes. It will help you focus on the behaviours that will increase the chance of your desired outcomes.
An example of replace and reframe using the examples from earlier is described below. The focus is on being specific in carrying out positive actions.
Negative Talk | Reframed |
I need to stay away from the water on the left of the green... | Play the ball towards the safe space on the right of the green. Focus on hitting the target to the right of the flag with a smooth swing. |
Don't drop any catches ... | Stay focused when in the field for each ball. Make sure you are walking in but stay relaxed, hands out in from of your body and soft for catching. |
Don't mess up the presentation... | You've done some great prep for this presentation, it's been rehearsed and you know all the key points. Breath deeply and slowly before you speak. |
Don't say anything stupid in the meeting... | Read the notes and agenda before the session. Speak when it adds value, you know the topic and are ready to contribute. |
Summary
Negative talk can hamper even the best sports person or business persons ability to perform at their best in pressure situations. If this becomes an issue there are ways to train to recognise when negative thoughts are happening, before taking steps to stop those thoughts damaging your performance. These involve improved awareness of the issue, distracting yourself when they occur, following rehearsed of drilled rituals to reset focus and then reframing your thoughts into positive specific actions.
If you'd like to find out about the High Performance Coaching we deliver at My Performance Coach please email info@myperformancecoach.uk and we'll be in touch.
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